WTF?

This is a real-life text conversation I had yesterday w/ a buddy of mine. He's A and I'm B.

A: Any interest in playing bass for a 2 week tour with P___ B_____ from I_______, playing songs from an album he recorded under the name J_____ P_____? In November.

B: Uggh... Really? You're fuckin around. J_____ P_____? Really? Nooo...

A: Yessir. You available?

B: Nope. Will explain later.

A: You kind of have to do it.

B: Don't be a dick.

A: J_____ P_____ -- that's you!

B: Nah that's YOUR boy!

A: Fuck! He may be my boy, but you're still J_____ P_____. P_____.

B: Yeah that kid stole his whole act from me. I was an innovator.

A: Yes now I understand. Who deserves to play P_____bass? __ ____ of course, but who else?

B: I think J_____ P_____ and that shitty dude _____ would be a match made in heaven.

A: Totally, I made the same call.

B: Why are you responsible for putting this together? Did you lose a bet?

A: Nah, dude asked me, and I told him I'd think of people. I'm sure somebody could use the easy $.

B: Easy work-wise. Crushing soul-wise.

A: Sometimes the soul needs crushing.

B: I knew you were gonna say that.

A: That's cuz you're J_____ P_____.